zer0infinite

Video that I edited today. First time editing like this, actually. Music is "Celtic Blues" by Paul Dateh (http://www.pauldateh.com/)

So I noticed in the shower today, while using ridiculously hot water, that when I flex, it resists the burning sensation from the hot water.

I then also noticed that I cannot flex my face very well... nor my balls.

I'm sorry.

I know I haven't posted in a while and you are dying for another story. Truth be told, I was actually in a relationship for like the last month. What? Impossible! An LJ junkie having a girlfriend?! Get out of here. No, YOU get out of here! There's the door, and here's my foot to your face.

But that's done and over with. No need for condolences, I am fine... because I have set my eyes on these babies!




I need your help on deciding which I should get. Highs or lows? Yes, I have the exact same shoes, but in white. I don't care, I never got bored of my shoes and received compliments everywhere I went. I think I'll wear these shoes forever! Also, when I broke up, guess who was there for the rebound. Nope, not my Reebok Shaqs (don't worry, I hate those shoes.. they put Reebok to shame). It was my Creative Recreation shoes waiting for me at the doorstep. It could tell from my face right away that I was down, and lasso'd me in her laces for comfort. The 100% cotton shoe laces felt great on my skin. Anyway, please help me decide. Thanks in advance.

If you say, "shoes are shoes." You will not be invited to my wedding.

So I was going to bed last night at around 2-3 AM, when I saw this huge spider (give or take an inch in fucking diameter). I went straight to my desk drawer to pull out my Desert Eagle airsoft gun. But, I knew this wouldn't be enough, this time. I decided that I was going to need something bigger...

...I decided to wake up my dad and have him kill it. Sad face.

I always parked at the hourly meters at Ohlone when I have Oceanography. It's located at the top of Ohlone, right next to the building my class is located at. The class is only an hour long, and no competent human being would rape themselves of their intelligence to park on the bottom of the hill and walk up the steps of Ohlone. I'm no Mayan.

So I was walking to my car when class let out. I saw a cop standing around the meters.

"Nonono," I thought to myself as I started speed-walking to my vehicle.

He had already started writing a ticket for me. I started shuffling through my library of excuses and bullshittity for something that I could use on the officer, while still standing at a distance.

"My teacher let me out a bit late, so that's why I'm late."

"I had to make a quick trip to the bathroom." Wait, I'm not Katrina, and need pee like once every 2 seconds.

"I forgot my keys in my classroom and had to run back and get it. It was not there, so I had to retrace my steps a few times."

I decided in the end to hit the panic button and watched as the cop dropped his notepad and looked around to see if anyone saw him jump.

Totally worth the $35 fine.

I think I found the guy's car from my previous post.




Oh look, you can see Katrina's reflection!... and me.

Oceanography is cursed.

So I got to class early for once, and overhear this guy talking to a girl behind me.

"I had to do everything on Saturday, so that I could watch the Superbowl on Sunday," he says.

The girl talking to him responded back, "Like what?"

"Like laundry and playing with Haley. I have to play with Haley almost everyday since my brother is always at work."

Oh awesome! He gets to play with a dog. I decided to butt in, "Sorry to interrupt, but what breed is Haley?"

"She's my niece."

This took place in my Oceanography class today, where we study about Ancient Greece and how the world's circumference was measured.

I came right on time, but in that class, "right on time" is still too late to find a good seat. I had to sit all cramped up on the side of the classroom. When class finally began after the teacher got the technology going, a guy that looks like Ronaldinho came in. For people who don't know who he is, he's an amazing soccer player. So anyway... fucking Ronaldinho came in late and starts walking down the row that I'm sitting. He's strolling around in the dark, since the teacher had already turn off the lights to make the PowerPoint more visible. Fucking Ronaldinho then trips on the guy in front of me, body becoming more horizontal, and FALLS on me.

No, I didn't laugh.

I was actually following my New Years resolution on becoming a nicer person and asked him if he was okay. I hope he doesn't play on the Ohlone soccer team. Maybe he's the goalie. He caught himself pretty well. Good reflexes.

Okay, rant time. I'm religious, yes. But, that doesn't mean I go around preaching my faith to everyone who don't want to listen. People always complain about people that bring religion into this and that. I understand how that can be annoying and how people's stubbornness amplifies the annoyance factor. Well, you know what? I also find people who don't respect other people's religion to be ignorant and very annoying. Isn't that the same equivalency of people that run around preaching their ass off to people? Except, you run around scoffing and telling us that there is no God. I don't want to hear about how you believe in no God as much as you hate people that talk religion to you. I keep my faith to myself and anyone who is willing to share the same ideals as me.

"Silence is golden."

On another note, I just uploaded a small collection of songs from my personal playlist. It's not my entire playlist, just a part of it. I uploaded it for Matt and decide to post it up here, since they let people download it a total of ten times. Better hurry. Hope you know how to use Rapidshare, also.

http://rapidshare.com/files/191896573/Matt.rar.html

Yes, I named it Matt

So there's a story that I left out of the previous post from when I was at the Ohlone bookstore with Katrina. We were in the English textbook section looking for Katrina's books and this happened:

So that guy I was talking about was having a little conversation with me. A little chit-chat. And then, Katrina introduces herself. After the exchange of names and awkward laughs, I decided to say, "She's new to the country. Her English is not that strong."

The funny thing is that the guy believed me right away and said, "Oh wow!"

She then proceeds into smacking me. I thought it would have been more funny if she smacked me with an ESL textbook.

And now, on to what happened today:

Katrina and I decided to go to a random restaurant to eat. We decided to do something that some people will call, "food tripping"? I think that's what Katrina said. It takes a bit of effort to understand her.

We had Chinese food. The restaurant we went to was called, "Ming's." It's near the corner of Washington and Fremont? I don't know quite clearly, but the parking lot is located in the back, in the residential area. Their front door is always locked, so save yourself the trouble and just walk through the door in the back. Don't be afraid, it really isn't someone's home. I remember my first words when reaching the destination was, "Dude, this looks like someone's HOUSE. Lets just fucking go to Tap X."

But no, Katrina just had to locate the parking lot and made me park. We ordered fried rice, Kung Pao chicken, and Walnut shrimps. It was pretty good. We prefer it over P.F. Chang's.

On Monday, Katrina decided that we'll be having "Talon" food. Of course, she was just trying to pronounce "Italian."

Oh yeah, Carissa, my awesome friend, finally made a video of her singing to me. I think she sounds amazing even with her cold. And her guitar skills: amazing. She's going to be famous someday.

I need help finding the following songs:

Cambodia by Apoptygma Berzerk
Dismiss The Sound by Radio 4
Let The Good Times Come My Way by Some Velvet Morning
Struggle by Ringside

So Katrina and I were returning from lunch at Jollibee, and were walking back to the Newark Center. For people who have not been to the Newark Center, they have automatic handicap doors with the button on a pole coming out from the ground a few feet away from the door.

Okay, so I haven't slept for two days. I'm completely drained. Katrina was half-dragging me back to the Newark Center. I had a root beer in my other hand. No lid. Why? Lids are for pussies. Go ahead and suck it.

Anyway, so she's like dragging me. I'm holding the cup of soda. We get up to the button that will unlock the way to our destination, since our laziness would make it impossible, otherwise. I decided to swing while still hanging onto Katrina and kick the shit out of the button. I fucking spill my soda on my hand. Katrina has already gone ahead to keep the door open as I went, "Ugh, fuck. The soda went all over my hand." Katrina is looking at me with wide eyes and doing shushing actions with her finger. We both walk in at the same time to see the whole hallway packed with students just chilling there before their class. Wow. They weren't even like chatting it up. They were quiet as fuck.

So now, we're like walking through the student-lined hallway. My hand is still covered in root fucking beer and I was trying to hide it by walking close to Katrina to hide it. We finally escaped and I went to the bathroom to clean my hand.



[18:32] ChanChanxx3: what's your major again ?
[18:33] HoisinSauce88: Superhero
[18:33] HoisinSauce88: Why do you ask?

WARNING: Please do not read this if you are eating. What I'm about to share is pretty extreme and will kick you in the stomach... HARD.

Results may vary.

I will not be posting this on Facebook, MySpace, or deviantArt because of its extremity (pretty extreme).

"Is it that extreme, Peter?"

Yes. Read the first sentence and then answer your own fucking question (or the question that I have provided for you as an example that may not have been the question you had for me)... !

So earlier, I was pretty fucking constipated. (Queue)

I was in so much pain. I asked my parents to go buy me some laxatives because I couldn't take it any longer.

So they went and brought me back a container. I do what all men do.

I ignored the instructions and opened it to see these strange pills.

"Why are these pills shaped like BULLETS?"

I read the instructions.

"Fuck..."

Wow, amazing. Even the label almost made me shat myself.

(I am so surprised at the quote on my mood emote picture.)

So today has been an awful day, aside from hanging out with Katrina the whole day. The only good thing that happened to me today was when I bought four H & M shirts for $10.44. The shirts were on the $5 rack and they had a "buy one, get one free" deal going on, at the same time. It's was as if God was poking fun of me all day, and then is like, "ha ha, just kidding. No hard feelings, okay?" Thanks.

So bad things that happened today. By the way, this all happened around Katrina. Maybe it's a sign that I should not hang around Katrina so much. So the first thing that happened was that I stepped on gum. Happens all the time, right? Sure. But, this was not a regular wad of gum. It was like fucking neon green, and whoever chewed it, stuffed like the whole fucking 12-pack in his mouth. It was a fucking giant wad of gum. Oh yeah, and I did not step directly on it, I stepped like on half of the fucker. So, the other half was like sticking out and grabbing tree branches, bark, and what have you on the way up to Hyman Hall. Can anyone say "Katamari"? I felt a bump under my foot and stared down to wince at the disgusting piece of shit that barely earned the name "gum." My poor Creative Recreation shoes. Tear.

So after that ordeal, I walked Katrina up to her class and chilled on the first floor of building 1 because it seems that all the other electrical outlets in the library suck and don't seem to be working. So I'm chilling down there and this girl walks up to me.

"Can you take a few seconds to complete a short survey about alcohol, please?"

Oh, short survey, huh? A few seconds, huh?

"Sure!"

She then slaps down a three-page survey in front of me. Fuck.

So after Katrina got out,  we decided to go to Stoneridge Mall to get lunch at P.F. Chang's and shop. I just wanted to go to H & M, really. It has recently become my favorite store on top of Old Navy. So we were pulling out of Ohlone, and got on Washington Blvd. I had my windows down and we were cruising down the road. Then I heard a buzzing sound. Was it my cell phone? No, it was too loud and irregular to be my cell phone. And last time I checked, my phone was in my pocket, not glued to my door. I then looked to my left and see a bee buzzing around. For my sake and Katrina's, my fear level of bees are not as high as spiders. But still, it was a fucking bee! So, I rolled my window down all the way and did the only thing I could think of. I started blowing at the bee with my mouth to get it the fuck out of my car. I looked back on the road to swerve back into my lane and looked back to see that the bee was gone. Thank, God.

So later, we were cruising on the freeway. Everything was going smooth. We did pass by a dead skunk, but it must have been there for a while. There was hardly any skunk stench. I look to my left. Buzz buzz. What the fuck?! The bee was back in my car! So what I did was... I rolled down my window again while cussing distinctively at the bee. Right now, Katrina is laughing her ass off. I punched the gas to speed up to 90 and the bee was pulled out of the car. I was bewildered! What did I do to deserve this? How the hell did the bee stay in or get back into my car?! I mean, come one, I was blowing really hard. Actually, don't answer that. I don't even want to know. And if you're a bee specialist, save the last of your dignity, please.

So I was walking to my car at Ohlone and I just happened to park next to a softball player. She was getting her equipment out of her SUV. I glanced at her car to see writing on her windows. It said her name and some other random shit. It also said, "HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY."

"Heh, that's cute..." I thought, and that's as much as my thinking went because this is what happened next.

Some of you probably know what my car does when I disarm the alarm. Some of you are probably getting the hint.

My car likes to HONK when I unlock it. It honks once if I unlock the driver's door only, and honks multiple times when I want to unlock the whole fucking car. I always put my backpack in the trunk, so I unlocked my whole car without remembering what my car likes to do when I unlock it.

Usually, I'm a calm person and would probably play it off like it wasn't my car and walk a big circle around the parking lot until the girl left. But this time, I froze. This has never happened to me before. I did not know how to deal with this problem. I have never been accused of being horny by my own automobile before. The girl looked at me. I looked back, still pointing the car alarm remote at my car. There is no doubt that it's not my car now.

Luckily, the girl just shook her head and giggled a little before sticking her head back into her trunk. I got into my car, embarrassed, and drove down the hill.

I called Katrina right away to tell her what happened. I believe she almost dropped her syringe. She's an assistant medical technician.

Words and retarded hand gestures can not describe how much I want to watch this.

Been a derrickcomedy YouTube channel fan since when I first discovered YouTube.

How misleading can the title be?


Anyway, so I was working on Saturday and I swore to take out the trash under penalty of death glare (Henry).

As I was rolling out the overflowing trash bin around the corner, there was a guy washing his car in front of the apartments. The garden hose that he was using was laid in my path of the little sidewalk that had now become the main problem of my journey to the place for me to dump my trash. Also, I was holding a milk carton in the hand that I was not using to pull the trash bin.

I asked the guy if he could move the garden hose for me. He said, "sure."

He comes around from his car and.. by the way, his car was very ugly. It was like a prehistoric Volvo or something. The only reason why someone would keep that car is if it saved your life. Period. So he walks around and lifts the hose up. And at that time, I was guessing he was just lifting up the hose so that I could go under. I began saying "thank you," but was countered by a hose to the face. Let me explain:

Apparently, he thought he could succeed in throwing the hose over the trash bin and me, altogether. Well, he got it over the trash bin..

Enough of hoses...


Today, I went to church. I was bored as always. I looked down at my jeans, and under my zipper. I saw that a thread was loose! I started tugging on it for a while out of pure boredom (NO OTHER REASON). After I was done, I poked my mom to tell her about the loose thread. Her response was:

"We'll just cut it off when we get home."

...
I was dying.

So I was working today, and accidentally cut my finger.

A piece of skin was hanging off and was soaked in blood, so it was bright red.

I work at Baskin-Robbins.

I looked down and saw my finger.

"What's this cherry doing here?"

I ripped it off my finger.

"Oh... not a cherry."



On a side note, it was pretty slow today, so I decided to entertain myself by taping a note on my Cassie's back.


"FEED ME!"

Why does Fallout 3 have to be released AFTER my classes start?! Why does the sequel of one of the best games in the world has to be released then?! The creators are so confident in this game that they will not even be offering a demo. Have I done something that bad in my life or previous life to deserve this?! That is all.

She told me not to post this.